I’ve been meaning to make this point for a while now, just to put it out into the world to make me feel better about it rather than have it simmering in my mind as it has been for the last few months.
I am an uncomfortable person, I easily worry about what others think of me and hate to upset people I don’t even know and that’s why public displays of affection have always been hard for me, but that’s not what I want to talk about. Recently, a few girls have worried that I don’t like them because I’m not cuddly or don’t really like to hug them. This is a problem I have with myself, not with them. I like the girls in question a lot, I just don’t like cuddling girls or anyone other than my boyfriend.
I think the underlying reason is that I don’t want to disrespect these girls’ boyfriends or my own. I think cuddling is special, more special than sex. A lot of the time, I hear “oh, you’re gay! It’s fine!” I don’t think it is, to be honest. I don’t like it, I’m still a boy and I’d just much rather not get affectionate like that.
There’s also the fact that a lot of the straight guys who are in relationships with close friends in the past are uncomfortable with it, saying the whole “he’s probably pretending to get close to girls”, which is a possibility. I’d hate to be the reason for a strain on a friends relationship and would much rather keep the friendship respectful until I feel completely comfortable with that person, that person’s other half and myself (I don’t mean my sexuality, just my own self).
Just like straight guys don’t like hugging or cuddling other guys, I feel the same about cuddling girls. I am not romantically attracted to girls and so I’d rather not do those things. That wonderful feeling of embrace, in my opinion, should only be felt between myself and the person I am in love with. I know how much he loves my cuddles and I’d hate to be sharing those with other people.